Mangena's Blog 

Q&A – Gratitude on Your Terms

Stop trying to make things work on other people’s terms!

Welcome, welcome, welcome!! Do you feel welcome yet, because…welcome!!

It’s blog time once again and this week I’m taking a look at gratitude, by way of an answer I gave in a Q&A session. The question was as follows:

When we look back at the people that we maybe have not expressed gratitude to or for, what is more important: that we do so demonstrably (i.e. by physically showing up and expressing our gratitude verbally) or mentally/energetically?

Rudrani Brand
family gathering for a group hug
Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

Ok that was paraphrased, but the gist was the same. 

The answer, as with all things, lies in your personal beliefs. One of the biggest challenges that I see in people’s lives, is that they are trying to make something work on other people’s terms! 

Remember: the subconscious programs that we’re running on, are the programs that have been set by other people. So when you’re stepping into your own power, there are inevitably going to be disconnects and abrasive interactions between the two. 

What you consider to be ‘yours’ isn’t really yours and deep down, your soul knows. Your subconscious always knows the truth about you and it has its own unique song, that will break through eventually!

Hence the ubiquity of the “mid-life crisis”! You can only hold back the tide of who you are for so long, based on the rules of others, before the dam will break and you come flooding out. 

For some people this is a positive revelation. They can finally be who they want to be. For others though, this is a sad realisation. That they have been dancing to the tune that others have set for them, feels like an almighty waste of life! Moreover; when the opportunity comes to dance to their own, they don’t know how to do it. 

I’m not saying that they can’t consciously or philosophically comprehend that situation, it’s that they simply are not wired in a way to be able to do it.

sad mature businessman thinking about problems in living room
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com


How many success stories have you heard from people who dropped out of school, or who never did training in the field they achieve in? I don’t pose that question in order to draw some ill-founded, “working-class hero” correlation. Dropping out of schooling or other forms of training isn’t, in and of itself, the answer. 

I think what is more the connective-tissue, in those cases, is people setting out on their own terms and not playing by rules, set by others with completely different agendas!

What often happens with people at this fragile, revelatory time of their life, is that they fall into depression. They turn to destructive behaviours like alcohol abuse, and they disconnect from their loved ones. 

What I seek to teach people who find themselves at this juncture, whether its when they hit middle-age or not, is to step back into their song in a loving and effective way!

Coming back to Rudrani’s question:

So with all that said: me telling you how to show gratitude effectively, won’t enable you to do so. You can’t do it on my terms, you have to do it on your own!

What I can do though, is invite you to connect with your own experience of gratitude, call in those feelings and then focus them in the direction of the person, place or thing that you wish to express gratitude for. 

sunset person love people
Photo by Josh Willink on Pexels.com

Something else that I want to touch on here, is the issue of energy traps. I’ve spoken about these before, but guilt associated with un-expressed gratitude can be a particularly tough one to get around! 

You might have lost someone before you had the chance to tell them how grateful you are for them, or something they did for you. It may be that a parent taught you to be a spend-thrift, and that has impacted your ability to create financial abundance. 

My advice in that scenario is to express gratitude in your own way to that parent/those parents, for doing the best that they could and for looking out for you. Do not connect to the negative impact that it has had in your life. Why? Because even though you’re approaching this in a balanced way, you’re still calling in the negative energy around that being a bad piece of advice, and in doing so; you’re creating an energy trap. 

Acknowledge with gratitude, so that you can be free of the things that cause energy traps, and then recognise that you live an abundant life. That there is more than enough and that there will always be more than enough, for you!

My love, thanks and gratitude to my dear friend Rudrani Brand for that question!


That’s all for now, thank you so much for reading this blog, from the bottom of my heart! If you enjoyed it, I produce regular Do It With Dan blogs, podcasts and videos. I have three books published now: Stepping Beyond Intention, The Dreamer’s Manifesto and From Time-to-Time (a really great book on time mastery). All of these are here to serve you and make you part of the journey as well. 

For more guidance on how to change your internal programming, to attract greater abundance and experience greater freedom: please click on the link below for free access to my…

3 Secrets to Becoming a Harmonious MONEY MAGNET: REVEALED

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