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I wanted to clarify a couple of things in this blog. To help you identify and shift your understanding of how you approach, not only where you are at, but how you are moving forward.
Really these are very simple distinctions on paper, but in practice they are profoundly different in their power.
Now, I talk a lot about reframing in order to find positive, expansive energy within apparently negative situations. I need to be very clear though; this is not the same as bypassing or lying to ourselves about the situation. Moving forward in a false, forced mindset of “everything is fine, I have a positive mental attitude” is BS.
The mind knows that it’s BS, even if you pretend that it isn’t, and the mind will win.
It is not about burying our heads in the sand and pretending that a crappy situation is anything but. Instead, we just have to own where we are at right now, in the moment. If we feel crap about a situation or experience: we feel crap!
Reframing the situation or experience is about turning it to our advantage, so that we can move forward from a position of expansion rather than fear.
OK…
So with that said: how do we move forward once we honestly accept where we’re at?
Firstly we have to always be open to existing in a state of change, bringing ourselves back when we notice a slip back into old patterns.
Make change and expansion your new patterns.
Assistance Vs Dependance
Secondly we need to get clear on how we are showing up with others. When you go to someone for assistance in progressing an endeavour, be it career or otherwise; if you show up repeating the same old patterns, what you’re really asking of that person is dependance.
Why?
Well because what you’re basically coming at them with is a desire for someone to do the heavy lifting for you. If they do that: you have not achieved any growth yourself!
Pretty soon you’ll likely be making up all kinds of excuses as to why it didn’t work out or painting a picture of victimhood. You’ll probably do it without realising too, because your subconscious is working overtime to maintain the status quo.
It’s like getting a spotter at the gym: are you asking them to spot you, or do all of the lifting? If it’s the latter, you’re not going to see any growth in yourself (except maybe in the love handles, where we don’t want it).
So next time ask yourself: “How much of me am I showing up with, what are my intentions truthfully and am I consistent in how I show up going forward?”
Simple in concept, less so in practice, but I know you can do it and I know this will make a big difference in your results guys!
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