Surrender to the process
Do you see a life of fulfilment and service for yourself, but have trouble letting go of what you have? Maybe you’ve made a lot of money doing what you do, but don’t feel fulfilment in doing it. I know how you feel and I want to share my story with you, so that hopefully you’ll be encouraged to take the leap.
Welcome back to the Dream With Dan blog. If this is your first time here – welcome! I drop three of these per week (schedule permitting) with the aim of bring you lots of help, advice and wisdom. I’ve built myself back up from less than scratch more times than I’d care to remember, and it’s only in the most recent years that I have done so with lasting effect.
How do I know that this time it’s going to stick? Because I shifting my focus to being of service and surrendered to the process.
For those of you who don’t know – Hi, I’m Daniel Mangena! I am now a best-selling author, podcast host, public speaker, coach, husband and father! I live in beautiful Cabo, surrounded everyday with everything I could possibly need. This is my best life. I live abundantly, joyfully and with purpose.
It wasn’t always this way however. Without boring you with the details too much; I first became a millionaire at the age of 19. I had been on a path to great academic achievement, with a place at Oxford University and everything you’d want for your kids as they embark upon adulthood. It was taken away from me though, thanks to the grades scandal in the UK (you can look it up for more details, if you like) and this sent me down the path of rebellion.
I was gonna show them that I didn’t need their stinking education!
So I started learning how to trade, where and so on. Long story short – I made a million quid (pounds for those of you outside of the UK) by the time I was 19. That’s where most people would probably assume that I sailed off into the sunset, middle finger aloft, facing backwards at all of those pedagogical institutions that I felt such animosity towards.
Nope! You see…I didn’t really know what I was doing. As any brash young newcomer to testosterone soon finds out: you know NOTHING of life!
As sure as night follows day, my new found riches were either squandered or taken from me, in fairly short order. “Pfff…no problem” thought I, having learned nothing “I did it once, I can do it again”. And I did. Within a few years I was back riding high on another million pound win, this time thanks to real estate deals in London.
Aaaaaand….then I lost it all again.
This time thanks to business partners with ulterior motives, although really; that’s on me. I’m always telling people that they need to accept full responsibility for their lives, and I am no exception. It was my naivety and stubborn refusal to accept any guidance from others, that lead me to that place once more.
This time was much harder to bounce back from and (again: keeping things brief) I actually became suicidal. It was finding my way back from that dark place, that started me on a path of service. These bad times lead me to write my first major book Stepping Beyond Intention which has since become a best-seller.
It was after this point though, that I had started to drift back into the same old lifestyle. Flash forward a few years; I was earning really good money, living it up in a luxury apartment in London and flying first class around the world.
But it wasn’t sitting right with me.
I knew that this was in conflict with what my true calling was/is! But I had a tough time letting go initially. I had become accustomed to a lifestyle that, I thought, I would lose if I dedicated myself to being fully of service to others in the way I wanted to be.
Climbing out of that pit of despair, and bringing with me the tools to help others, had connected me to a state of flow, the likes of which I had never experienced before! I was so aligned with that, that I knew it deep within me. Yet still I struggled in letting go and surrendering to it.
Here’s where I hope to speak to those of you in similar situations. You see: life/God/the universe will serve you up exactly what you need. I’m not talking about traipsing barefoot through the Himalayas, surviving on bog weed and yak’s milk – though if that’s your calling: more power to you!
I mean that it will put you where you need to be, in order to realise your dreams.
Look at my situation: I kept losing the money and the lifestyle, why? Because that was not where my heart was. It was putting me back down at rock bottom stripping me of all the superfluous stuff, so I could recognise what was in my heart.
I didn’t of course realise this right away. I had been on a meditation retreat in Santa Fe when that finally hit me. That’s when I knew that I had to surrender to the process of stepping into that life, or I was going to wind up right back at rock bottom sooner or later.
So I committed to letting go!
I packed up my house, put everything I couldn’t carry into storage and set off around the world to teach! That may sound crazy, but here I am three years later – I’ve built up another multi-million fortune, I live the life of service that I knew I should be doing all along and I’m the happiest in my personal life that I’ve ever been.
I know that this is really hard for a lot of people. Letting go and surrendering runs against most things that we’re taught as we grow up.
This is especially true of men; but we are brought up to believe in the ‘system’ that says we should always be forging a path. We should be go-getters who create success, and then flaunt it by peacocking around in our Ferrari’s (or whatever).
Now there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the fruits of your labour. In fact: I encourage it, but from a space of expansion! What do I mean? Well if you’re coveting shiny things, in order to prove to others just how successful you are: you’re being precisely the opposite.
Think about it: you’re giving away your power to the presuppositions of others. In fact, worse: you’re giving away your power to the assumed presuppositions of others! If, however, you are buying something as a reward, with the intention of using it as proof to your subconscious that you are on the right path and that the universe has your back: this is expansive.
It opens up your horizons to more coming your way, but with integrity and alignment with your true desires.
This is a big part of letting go as well: trusting that the money will come.
It’s hard when all you’ve known is working for someone else and taking home a ‘guaranteed’ pay cheque every month. But it isn’t guaranteed is it? Not really. No more so than anything else. In fact: if you’re in a job that is out of alignment with who you are, pretty soon that pay cheque will be jeopardised by a lack of focus, commitment and procrastination.
As we highlighted in my guest spot on The Reclamation Project (a fabulous podcast by the way, and one I’d highly recommend): men come to the feminine aspects of themselves later in life.
This makes sense of course; for a lot of us guys, we’re at our most virile and head strong in our 20s and early 30s. We give little regard to self-preservation and even less to our spiritual side.
With my work, the lion share of men who come to me tend to be in their more…advanced years, shall we say and/or more fluid with their sexuality. I’m not saying that being bisexual or gay has anything to do with it, only that they have been used to embracing part of themselves that is ‘out of the ordinary’ when it comes to society at large. Though mercifully we all seem to be letting go of that collectively, and long may that continue!
The obvious power in that is of course that, once they drop the facade of who they think they’re supposed to be; they step into incredible self-actualization and power!
I’ve had guys (and ladies as well) for whom all it took was letting go of their perceived gender role.
They stopped being governed by their perceptions and simply slotted into alignment with their true self! Once they did this: they were unstoppable. And especially in the case of those who already had other aspects of themselves figured out in business; the success poured in shortly thereafter. More importantly: so did the joy and purpose!
So this is my take-away message for you all today: try letting go.
I’m not saying: hand you notice into tomorrow and tell your boss to go f**k him or herself. Start small. Look around you for practices you’re engaging in, that aren’t really serving you but you do out of obligation to someone or something else. A practice that you’ve been told you must do out of fear, but really: you don’t believe has any positive impact on your life whatsoever.
Let go of it! Chip away at the BS and focus on understanding your true nature.
Now there is a TON more to explore on this, including how to actually uncover and understand your true nature. I have a lot of FREE RESOURCES that can help you do just that. For now though, just be open to the notion of letting go. Let it sit with you and start eroding those beliefs that could be holding you back from your dream life!
Thank you so much for reading this blog, from the bottom of my heart! If you enjoyed this, I produce regular Do It With Dan blogs, podcasts and videos. I have three books published now: Stepping Beyond Intention, The Dreamer’s Manifesto and From Time-to-Time (a really great book on time mastery). All of these are here to serve you and make you part of the journey as well.
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