It’s all a matter or perspective
Hello reader, it’s great to have you on board for this article on overcoming the fear of failure! If you’re new to my website and you’re seeking a life of joy, purpose and abundance, you’ll be happy to hear you’ve come to the right place.
Here, you’ll find all sorts of content to get your teeth stuck into – from regular blog posts like this one to my passionately spoken podcast!
Right now though, I’d like to explore the one thing that holds so many of us back from realizing our dreams (including myself many years ago). Today, let’s face it head on together and discuss overcoming the fear of failure.
We need to stop taking life so seriously (none of us are coming out alive)!
It’s the blunt and honest truth folks. If you find yourself worrying over how others perceive you, let me tell you something: people probably don’t care as much as you think they do. We’ve all got stuff going on behind the scenes, now more than ever before; how much time do you set aside to judge others on a daily basis?! But ultimately, it’s often through seeking to please other people that we leave ourselves behind.
When we’re able to come to terms with that – which isn’t an easy habit to shake – we are free to do as we please. Just imagine a life where overcoming the fear of failure isn’t even an obstacle, because fear doesn’t exist in the first place! With nobody there to stunt your progress or hold you back from your dreams, anything and everything suddenly becomes possible. Sounds pretty good right?
It’s YOUR perception of others that stops you overcoming the fear of failure
What if I told you that failure didn’t actually exist, and it’s your perception of what others think that’s steering you off course? That invisible barrier of failure may be towering over you, but have you ever stopped to wonder who built it in the first place?
The levels of importance we attribute to what others think is not only holding us back from our end destination, but it’s also blurring our vision. Why should we channel more energy into worrying about what others think, as opposed to our focusing on our own endeavours?
As we set about overcoming the fear of failure, it’s always worth going back to square one. We have to pull that power back and return to center because, at the end of the day, failure is not about us – it’s about other people!
Have you ever stopped to ask others what they actually think?
Do it today, and I promise you’ll be pleasantly surprized! If you’re too afraid to make decisions based on what other people may think or say, then you have to ask yourself why that may be. In many cases, it’s not actually about the ‘fear’ but the ‘expectation’ you assume is there, which often boils down to this question: how am I going to live up to other people’s views of me?
The sad truth is that this question has the power to pull the rug from under us, ensuring we slip up at that pivotal moment of change our entire lives (if we let it). If this past year has taught us anything, it’s surely about moving past fear and living a life without regrets.
It’s time to put up a fight!
In my interview with Larry Roberts for his podcast 1 Big Win, we discussed this very subject at length. Overcoming the fear of failure was something Larry openly struggled with, as he shared one such story from his days as a kickboxer. Due to that lack of self-belief and the fear of failing in front of others, Larry chose to sit out of a fight that, deep down, he knew he could win. Unsurprisingly, that missed opportunity still haunts him to this very day. He still carries that disappointment on his shoulders, and that was over 20 years ago! Since then, Larry has made it part of an ongoing mission to discourage others from making that same mistake – which can often occur in a split second.
Dance like nobody’s watching
Though it may be overused, this phrase really resonates here. If there was no judgement and no expectation, would Larry have stepped into the ring? I absolutely believe so. Would you do things differently if your audience’s backs were turned? Or better still, would you feel you had the confidence to take that first step?
Overcoming the fear of failure is about the conscious removal of those roadblocks. By placing them there ourselves, we are our own worst enemy. You could almost say that the majority of the time, we set ourselves up to fail! So why, I hear you ask, do we keep doing it to ourselves? The arrival of fear also manifests from our own lack of self-confidence due to negative feelings we associate with certain events from the past.
Overcoming the Fear of Failure by re-writing your history
First and foremost, we have to remember that all we have is ‘now’. The negative feelings we encounter when returning to our past ‘failures’ only exist because we choose to give them life! It’s actually within our power to ‘re-know’ a mental experience, and we can do so by replaying those images of failure as images of success.
It’s about overcoming the fear of failure by recognizing where and when that seed of doubt was first planted, which broke the rhythm of certainty. When you step up to the plate again, your memory automatically reverts back to that incident of failure (often despite your successes), creating feelings of caution and doubt – and thus building that barrier of fear.
In Reality Transurfing, this is what we call an “induced transition”, or the ‘downwards spiral’. But if the only thing pulling you down that spiral is the memory, it’s in your power to change it. As something that comes from our past, all memories are malleable. Therefore, it’s about re-knowing your past through a new lens to ensure it no longer embodies the same ‘charge’ within the now. An NLP tool called Timeline Therapy is worth checking out here.
Keeping your eye on the prize
In my previous blog ‘How to be master of your own success’, I talk about my own challenging experiences, and overcoming the fear of failure by turning my shortcomings into my superpower! As someone with Asperger’s, I’m proud to have made those changes to this very day, which continue to prove my main source of inspiration and empowerment. By creating my Beyond Intention Paradigm, I was able to build a step-by-step process that gave me the gift of gratitude and the self-belief I needed to live a life of abundance, and achieve success! So, what are you waiting for? If you’re ready to give fear the cold shoulder, then you’re already one step closer to living the fulfilling life you were put on this earth to do.
To help you on that trajectory, you’ll discover more on my Beyond Intention Paradigm in my book Stepping Beyond Intention. You can also browse my other published titles here, or why not give my podcast a listen while on your run or heading into work? Thanks for reading and wherever you happen to be on your journey, I’m right there with you!
Thank you so much for reading this blog, from the bottom of my heart! If you enjoyed this, I produce regular Do It With Dan blogs, podcasts and videos. I have three books published now: Stepping Beyond Intention, The Dreamer’s Manifesto and From Time-to-Time (a really great book on time mastery). All of these are here to serve you and make you part of the journey as well.
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