Have you ever seen your own face?
Hello everyone, welcome to another day in your life. Today I wanted to tackle the most common point of ‘failure’ that I see in people, and how to ‘fix’ it.
Pay attention to the words in quotes, and more specifically: pay attention to the meaning that you assigned to them when you read them. Maybe note it down! The instant meaning that you gave them will tell you a lot about your current programming.
More on this in a minute!
Today’s blog is inspired by a wonderful chat that I had with Amy Innes, on her amazing Uplevel Your Life: Mindset and Wellbeing with Amy podcast. You can listen to the full show here:
Please check out her other episodes and send her some love from my community, I’d really appreciate it!
So the most common point of ‘failure’ then, what do I mean by this? Well firstly the quotes around ‘failure’ are there top denote subjectivity and because nobody really ever truly fails. Firstly because every experience is an opportunity for change, but also more broadly because; your subconscious is a perfect executing machine.
You are always creating, constantly, 24/7 and you are doing so flawlessly, without effort for about 90% of it.
A reframe for you:
You are not ‘failing’ at anything, you are just succeeding in creating the experiences that you don’t consciously desire.
So how is that different? Or helpful to understand?! Well, because to not do so is to willingly give up your power! Think about it: if you tell yourself that failure is just a thing that happens to you, for reasons outside of your control (even if those reasons are garbage like: “I’m just not good enough” or whatever) you are handing back the keys to your life and checking yourself out!
See – here’s what I mean by the most common point of ‘failure’:
It comes in many guises (that I’ll touch on shortly) but at it’s core, this is about relinquishing responsibility for our lives. It’s not recognising the times when we hand our power and agency away through BS claims of victimhood.
One of the most common afore mentioned ‘guises’ is shame! Shame is an insidious state to be in about ourselves and our lives.
I get it! Believe me. I’ve been there myself many times. So much so that at one point, I began seeking ways to take my own life.
But it’s just another abdication of responsibility, harsh as that may sound.
I see this so often with the people I work with: they get into a battle with themselves over not winning all the time. They begin to feel shame over this and wind up in a stuck, disempowered state.
What is really going on there is, they introduce a disrupting thought/pattern/modality and the subconscious fights back. Then, rather than understanding this and seeking ways to overcome it; shame becomes the default mode. Really because it’s the path of least resistance!
I think that this can be an area of confusion for some, when I say that: “you have to take responsibility for all of it!” – they think this means that you should feel shame and self-flagellate when things aren’t going your way (or don’t appear to be).
No, absolutely not!
All this does is keep you locked in a two-step with your subconscious, headed in a downward spiral. That’s all it can do.
The way to take responsibility has nothing to do with blame or shame. It is simply to find a way of speaking playfully to the subconscious that introduces new programming, allowing you to tap into that incredible ‘autopilot’ power and get it working for a deliberately chosen outcome.
Here’s another thought for you: you’re the only person who has been there for every moment of your life. You are the only person who has had agency in that life, save for some of your formative years perhaps (but even then). So if you want to enact change in all areas of your life, why look anywhere other than to yourself?!
It all starts with you!
Now I’m not saying that there are never external factors at play, of course not. You might be genetically disposed to specific forms of disease, for example. Well there’s not much that you can do about that. But as Dr. Bruce Lipton demonstrated: only 2% of illness is locked into our genes. That should give us a pretty clear indication as to what is within our control!
The current situation in the world right now, with a pandemic sweeping the globe and causing a knock-on effect that is destroying industries, jobs etc… probably seems to have removed significantly more than 2% of our agency.
Remember though that a lot of what is going on is as a result of our collective response to the situation.
Also remember that there is now more money out there (thanks to ‘quantitative easing’) than ever before, and lots of incredible new opportunities to provide value to others, that weren’t there a year ago.
It’s all about where you place your focus. You are the lens through which all of this information is filtered after all, which brings me on to my next question:
Have you ever seen your own face?
Think about it. Yeah, it’s kind of a trick question because the answer for everyone is no. How could you have?!? OK yes, you can look at it in a mirror or in photographs; but you can never look upon your own face, directly in the first person.
It’s impossible, short of cutting it off I suppose, but then…well it wouldn’t really look like your face and…let’s not go there.
Let that sink in: all you’ve ever seen of your own face is a reflection of it, or it captured in one form of media or another. So how can we, who’ve never seen our own face, presume to claim that we understand the workings of the universe?
Put another way: we don’t have the capacity to see the whole ‘playing field’ so how can we claim to know that everything is going wrong?!!
When people say “I’m doing everything right, but everything is going wrong” I always respond with – “How do you know everything is going wrong?” How do you know that, what is happen for you isn’t part of the universe delivering you exactly what you asked for and how do you know that it doesn’t all work out in the end?
All that is real is the present. The past is gone and the future isn’t here yet (and never will be…cause it’s the future). All we have to create from is the present, so the challenges that may have shown up for you so far can serve you in making more informed choices now! They are the building blocks of what will become your success so embrace them.
So ok, the most common point of ‘failure’ is really us (in fact – it’s us 98% of the time, by Dr. Lipton’s estimation) but how do we fix it/us? More specifically, it’s the resistance within us that we create by narrowing the aperture of our lens, through which we view the world.
We desire an outcome, make overtures to that effect, take some action, said outcome hasn’t shown up yet in the form we were expecting: we get mad. This is because we narrowed our focus so much that we miss all the ways that is is showing up for us.
A lot of how to overcome this point of ‘failure’ comes in the form of acceptance.
2020 has, for me, been the best year financially that I’ve ever had. I also live in a beautiful part of the world, with a burgeoning new family. Life is good, by my own standards and probably by those of most.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t have bad days!
There are some days when I really don’t feel like getting up, but rather than fighting myself (like I used to) I have to remember to be gentle with myself. Ease in to the day, rather than trying to force it under the assumption that I’m just being lazy or whatever.
You have to accept where you’re at in any given moment. Like I said: the present is all that exists and it’s all you have to create from, so accept it. Whatever it is.
If you’re waking up and not feeling like getting up to start your day, don’t! Relax, maybe set an alarm for another 20 mins. If you can’t do that (because you have an appointment to get to or the kids are up etc…) accept where you’re at and break down what you have to do into easy steps. Think about just sitting up, adjusting your eyes, stretching…just break it down and don’t worry about where you need to be in an hour.
Ease into it, take a pause and come back to now.
This will help you to navigate your day with grace and ease, leaving yourself open to receive more opportunity and abundance.
This is the basis for my Clearing Encyclopaedia: to personally test and consolidate a number of modalities in one place for you, so that you can play with them yourself. You can then create a toolkit of practices that enable you, in any given moment, to clear yourself of distracting energies and bring your focus back to now.
Once you have your focus back, you have perspective. Once you have perspective, you have your agency because you are back in the driving seat.
Look at Captain Chelsey Sullenberger – the pilot who landed his plane on the Hudson river after birdstrike disabled his aircraft, saving everyone on board. It wasn’t his fault that the birds flew into his engine, but he took full responsibility for the situation and made choices in the moment that delivered him the outcome he got. Granted – the life & death situation probably gave him an acute focus, but the fact remains: full responsibility.
When you really think about it: the most common point of failure in anything can only be our lack of presence in the present.
Find a way to solve that and you’ll be winning every time.
Thank you so much for reading this blog, from the bottom of my heart! If you enjoyed this, I produce regular Do It With Dan blogs, podcasts and videos. I have three books published now: Stepping Beyond Intention, The Dreamer’s Manifesto and From Time-to-Time (a really great book on time mastery). All of these are here to serve you and make you part of the journey as well.
For more guidance on how to change your internal programming, to attract greater abundance and experience greater freedom: please click on the link below for free access to my…