“Don’t say yes to everything, you wally!” – Mark Sephton 2021
It’s another week, another Monday and time for me to explain to you why the expression ‘fake it till you make it’ is stupid! Not only that, but why it’s so counter-productive in getting you towards your goals.
First let me welcome you to my blog. If it’s your first time – thank you for checking it out. If not – thank you for coming back!! I hope that, whatever the situation; you come away with more of understanding of what you need, in order to live a more abundant, joyful and purpose-driven life.
So the topic for this article came from an episode that I did recently for my new Beyond Success Podcast. I was having a fantastic chat with Personal Mentor – Mark Sephton. We discussed a number of really groovy topics, so I encourage you to check it out. The episode goes live next Monday (April 5th) and you can check out the podcast in it’s new home and subscribe, by clicking on the image below!
Now I should preface this by saying that: Mark is planning his own article on this subject, and I’ve no intention of stealing his thunder here at all. This is simply my interpretation, having felt compelled to speak on the matter as well; based on what he had to say.
Mark is a regular contributor to Entrepreneur Magazine and Brainz Magazine, so I urge you to check out his articles over there. I’ve also recently become a regular contributor to Brainz Magazine, and you can find my first article here.
Why is ‘fake it till you make it’ stupid then?
Well let’s present the ‘steel man’ argument in its favour first shall we? I think that’s probably the decent thing to do, lest you think me closed-minded. The reason people say it, could well be in the relatively benign contest of: “say yes and then figure it out on the way.”
Put another way: “don’t pass up opportunities, accept them and then grow through figuring it out on the fly.” Well on the face of it, it’s hard to argue with that sentiment. Of course we have to learn, grow and expand! This is, after all, the very purpose of life (see my previous article). We must exist between poles, expanding and growing through contrast.
Here’s the thing though: that’s a very charitable interpretation of the message. The flip side of it is, of course: “fool people for long enough and eventually they’ll see you as being successful/an authority.”
I would argue that, even in the steel-man interpretation: there’s an implicit dishonesty. As soon as you say ‘fake it’ you’re inviting, nae: encouraging someone to step outside of their integrity. Once you do that, how can you ever ‘make it’?!
You see the main issue I have with silly, wooly sayings like this – is firstly that they lay out very ill-defined terms. Quite often people will see ‘faking it’ as being an endorsement of going out and buying an expensive car, or expensive clothes – all with the idea of impressing upon others the notion that they are already successful. By flaunting the trappings of a successful life, others will see you as that and then…?!
Then what?! You’ll be successful by osmosis or something?!
Faking your credentials, by its very nature, will mean that you never become ‘it’. Obtaining the kudos of others, by lying to them is never going to lead to you ‘making it’. The only thing that you will make is a bunch of misapprehension and ultimately: a feeling of total isolation!
To go back to what I said earlier about the purpose of life, being to grow and expand through polarity. If you project a false status of competency, how can you ever call upon others to help you grow? If the message you’re putting out there is one of ‘having made it’ what you’re essentially saying is that you have no need for growth!
Wondering around, giving off the impression to all and sundry that ‘you got this’ – just means that you’re going to miss the real opportunities. The one’s that will provide you with the growth, wisdom and experience to actually be of service to others.
Also: what do you think is going to happen?! If somebody asks if you can provide a service that you know you can not, no amount of furtive googling is going to enable you to provide said service to any meaningful standard. You will get found out sooner or later, at which point your reputation is shot to hell!
So if ‘fake it till you make it’ is stupid, what should I do if I want to expand what I can offer and win new business?
It’s pretty easy really. It all comes down to intention. As do most things! The intention behind ‘fake it till you make it’ is one of deception. Instead, find a way to do it with an intention of integrity.
‘Make it’ yourself first and then step into being that person. What do I mean by that? Well there’s a difference between not possessing the skills or experience to be considered a success by others, and knowing that you will and acting in accordance with that knowledge now.
OK that might have caused further confusion. What I mean is: instead of projecting a false image of yourself, take the time to up-skill as much as you can first. Understand your goal, understand yourself and where you’re at right now. Be ok with that and understand the power that gives you, in moving forward to create success.
The person who devotes time and resources to appearing already successful, has just wasted a huge chunk of their life. The person who understands their strengths and the value that they can already offer, then uses that as a starting position to grow from; they are already winning. Why? Because they have committed to expanding from a space of integrity. Every day for them will bring more success, because it has to!
If you can do this, you’ll never have to ‘fake’ anything!
Now if you would like help in finding ways to accurately asses where you’re at now, and what you’ll need to move forward – you can check out my FREE RESOURCES PAGE.
This offers you lots of handy tools to understand your own mind, your own heart and clear yourself of all the BS. You might put on a front around others, but if you want to truly master success; you’d damn well better know your won heart! Lying to yourself is a one-way ticket to misery. It’s also not where you want to be anyway!
If you’re looking to be successful, then deep down (whether you’ve interrogated your intentions this thoroughly or not): you know that you actually want to be able to claim your achievements truthfully. You don’t want to have to lie about yourself, you want to be able to actually be proud of them.
Given that it is really the emotional payoff of pride in oneself that any of us seek success for in the first place; why do we feel the need to editorialise how that message is conveyed to others at all?!
Faking an outward appearance is one thing, but why the need to prove it in the first place?
Surely, if we are truly successful in our achievements and our aims: they’ll speak for themselves. At which point: ‘making it’ will become the pointless, ill-defined line in the sand that it is.
I wish you all the very best with your goals, be they business or personal development. I implore you though: don’t fake it till you make it! Should you wish to hear more from me or reach out with a comment, please pop something down below. I do read them and I will get back to you.
Thank you so much for reading this blog, from the bottom of my heart! If you enjoyed this, I produce regular Do It With Dan blogs, podcasts and videos. I have three books published now: Stepping Beyond Intention, The Dreamer’s Manifesto and From Time-to-Time (a really great book on time mastery). All of these are here to serve you and make you part of the journey as well.
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